Everyone loves music, and guitar music is one of the most versatile in terms of genre.
People of all tastes flock to it.
But everything has a limit.
There is no need for everyone and his/her youth pastor to be busting out “Hallelujah” at a hangout, and if I hear “Wagon Wheel” one more time I will scream.
To ease the crushing weight off my soul, here are eight instruments not-called-guitar that will help you raise your social status and prevent your dorm room from turning into a six-guitar mariachi band.
Keytar
So you still want to look cool to impress that hottie who hangs out outside the library?
Normally the piano would be a great skill, but a piano lacks the portability that a guitar offers.
Then the Keytar is the safest bet for you.
Utilized by the hottest bands like Led Zeppelin, the Gorillaz and Weird Al, the Keytar can offer a new twist on an old act.
Banjo
Really, a banjo? This dude wants me to forgo the majestic allure of the six string for its twang-y, backwood cousin?
Hear me out, the banjo is twice as easy to learn since you tune it to open chords and it looks twice as impressive.
When you bust out “Foggy Mountain Breakdown,” people will go ballistic for your musical ability.
Little do they know you are still playing half the chords your precious “Wonderwall” takes.
Accordion
You want to play an even more portable piano?
Forget the melodica hipsters, because the accordion is the real up-and-comer in the music biz.
Need proof? Take a plane to Europe and tell me what people are playing on the streets of Paris.
It is not “Stairway to Heaven,” string nerds.
It’s the sweet tones of “Viva La Rose” played on the musical styling of the accordion.
Also a lot of the theme from “The Godfather” is on accordion, but I don’t get that one either.
Penny Whistle
You remember when you learned recorder in school?
It’s like that but not awful.
The penny whistle is both more portable than the guitar, but also twice as likely to start a jig.
The penny whistle can change a drab vibe to a popping scene with just one “toot.”
Dulcimer
The dulcimer is one of the purest symbols of American music.
Since the dulcimer is tuned to a major scale by default it is one of the easiest instruments to play.
Play hits like, “Boil them cabbage down” or “I’ll fly away.”
A Belgian guy also bought me a drink once because I was able to play one.
So that is a plus.
Harp
I only actually played a harp once, but can you imagine it.
Harps are notoriously difficult to learn, but that is the price you have to pay to look amazing playing an instrument.
Picture yourself…Sitting under a cool oak. Gently strumming the strings of your harp. Animals flock to you. Clouds clears around you.
Why learn the harsh noise of the devil’s guitar music, when you can learn the angelic sounds of the harp?
Spoons
Are you not good with the whole music thing? Then do I have the gift for you.
Walk on over to your kitchen and grab those big spoons you save for ice cream.
Those spoons are going to make you a musician.
It’s not flashy, but when you bust out that fancy spoon percussion like the toothless woman I saw on the side of the road all your peers will be impressed.
The spoons use the simplest sounds to make a sick beat that is sure to give you that rock star look.
Hurdy-gurdy
Last, but not least, is the hurdy-gurdy.
The hurdy-gurdy combines all the portability of the guitar with the sound of a full viking orchestra.
Really. Stop reading this and look it up on Youtube.
Now imagine that is you playing one.
Amazing, right?
If you can afford to ship one from Germany, then I suggest you buy one before everyone finds out about them.
by Tristan Turner
CougarBuzz 